Masks
by loser in the gutter
Summary: Even in the chaos of a train wreck, Roy couldn't afford to let his masks slip, even if it meant losing his love. Royed


Edward wiped the dirt as best he could off of his jeans. The debris from the train wreck was still floating in the air and there were still people to attend to. The medical staff was stretched thin and alchemists were running all over trying to repair the damage. Edward sighed. It was a horrible crash, yes, but his main focus was the dark haired man coming towards him. They had "broken up" over two years ago, but there was still chemistry between them that Roy would not ignore, despite the fact that Edward was with a certain smoking blonde on the team.

"Hey," Roy began as he approached. "I hope I didn't weird you out by giving you that gift." The book written by Roy's grandfather was still in Edward's office. Mustang had given it to him that morning just before the team headed out.

"Can we talk about this later?" Ed asked, bending down and clapping to fix a broken pipe.

"Of course," Roy replied. After a moment he added, "Is now later?" Edward gave him a quick glance and stood as his superior continued. "Maybe things aren't going so well with Havoc. So I'm sorry. I didn't mean to step into anything."

Edward smiled as he picked at his glove. "There's… no problems, we're doing just great." A sergeant walked up and handed Ed an axe to fix. He clapped and handed it back to the man.

"So why the weirdness?" Roy asked quizzically.

Ed shifted his weight and looked around before pulling Mustang a bit to the side for a bit of privacy. "When I opened it, I didn't think it was a house warming gift." Ed lifted his head to look the other man in the eyes. "I thought it was a… engagement present." There was an awkward silence. "It just happened last night," Ed tried to explain.

"No wonder you tried to hide this from me. I'm such a delicate flower."

Ed shook his head. "I didn't know what to say. And I've been slightly distracted." Ed pointed to the wreck.

"That might make sense," Roy gave Ed a look over. "Except you're not wearing a ring. So, you are hiding it. Which begs the question,"

"Mustang," Ed interrupted. "It's in my office desk drawer because I knew I was coming here. It's not weird. There's no mystery." He paused. "I'm just… getting married."

Roy's face was blank as his mask almost slipped.

Later, there was a case of a young woman, slightly older than Ed, trapped underneath piles of rubble and machinery. They wanted to amputate her leg.

"It's her _leg_." Mustang pleaded.

"I lost one and I'm doing fine. I can even get Winry to give her a great deal. She'll be fine."

"No, she's got too much at risk. They can't to a safe, sterile amputation right in the middle of this!"

The surgeon looked back and forth between the feuding officers. "Sirs?"

Ed turned to the man. "Give us a minute?" The man looked at him and then to the unconscious woman. He nodded and left.

Edward turned back to Mustang. "I know you're angry, but _please_, don't put _her_ life at risk just to get back at _me_."

Roy stood and smirked. "Really? Wow. So this is all about you now."

"You took her side against me right after you heard about my engagement."

"Yeah, that must be it. It's not that you're a pathetic narcissist."

"I don't… love you." They both paused. "So just… accept it, and move on with your life, instead of making everyone else miserable!"

"That's great," Roy murmured as he took a few steps away and out of the tent Edward had pulled them into. "A life lesson from a teenage orphan who's dating some one he fucked for a rebound."

Ed didn't let his tear fall. "Screw you." He glared at the taller man. "I'm so sick of making excuses for you. I'm sick of… other people having to tip-toe around you and make their own lives worse while they try and keep _you_ from collapsing." Ed felt around his pocket and clutched the watch. "I'm done." He walked past Mustang.

"Fantastic," Roy called after him. "And stay away from that woman."

Ed stopped walking and turned around. "What are you clinging to, Mustang?" He knew the other man could see the obvious tear stains on his dusty face. "You're going to risk her life to save her leg? That really worked out well for your eye." THREE. "What do you have in your life? Honestly, tell me." He took a few steps towards the older man. "I'm moving on. Hughes is moving on. And you…" Edward shook his head. TWO. "You've got nothing, Mustang, nothing. I'm going down there, and I'm going to convince her to let us cut her leg off. If you have any decency left, you'll stay out of it." ONE.

The sirens were loud and made Roy's head throb to no end. He grabbed at his bangs and shut his eyes tightly before replacing his mask and going out to join the rest of the rescue teams.

They arrived at the hospital about three minutes after the woman died from a fat embolism from the amputation. Roy had been in the ambulance with the woman and her weeping husband.

"There's no way to prevent a fat embolism, even if it had been in the operating room," explained the surgeon as he removed his gloves. "You couldn't have saved her." He walked away, leaving the two dark haired men alone in the waiting room.

Roy stood and walked to the door. The man behind him stood just as quickly.

"You can't blame yourself for her death." Hughes calmly stated. "This wasn't your fault."

"THAT'S THE POINT!" Roy yelled furiously. "I did everything right. She died anyway. Why the hell would you thing that would make me feel any better?" He leaned on the doorway as he let his mask slip further.

"You shouldn't be alone right now." Hughes sighed. "You're bleeding."

"I'm going to give you a task, and as a lower ranking officer you have to do it." Roy looked the other man in the eyes. "Get out of my way."

Maes swallowed, sighed, and stepped to the left, allowing the younger man to go by him and out the door.

When Roy reached his house, he went straight to the bathroom. He splashed some water on his face before gripping the sides of the mirror. He raised his head to see his reflection and thought of the young woman's dying breaths. Roy huffed as he pulled the mirror from the wall and threw it into the bathtub. The glass shattered but Roy paid no attention to it. He looked at the small hole in the wall.

Vicodin. He had stashed two pill bottles there from when he had gotten his surgery on his eye. It was from when he had become addicted to the drug. The bottles were the only two his friends had not found out about or that he told them about. Mustang grabbed them both and sank to the floor.

His breath was shaky as he popped open the first bottle and poured two pills into his palm. He took a few breaths before he heard the footsteps and saw the dusty figure in his hallway.

"You gonna leap across the room and grab them out of my hand?" Roy's eyes were pleading for a yes.

Edward shook his head. "No. It's your choice if you want to go back on drugs."

"Okay." Roy looked at the pills and back at the blonde. "Just so you know, I'm finding it hard to see the downside."

Ed took a few steps closer so that he was in the bathroom. "At least let me bandage your shoulder."

Roy smiled. "Is that why you're here? Hughes sent you." Mustang rolled his eyes.

Ed leaned against the door and lifted his head to rest on it too. "No."

"You're here to yell at me again?" Roy proposed with sarcasm.

"No." Ed sighed and lowered his head to look at the older man.

"Well I'm running out of ideas."

"Jean." Edward whispered, closing his eyes.

"Oh great," complained Roy. "I'm feeling uncomfortable again. That probably means you just got back from some quicky wedding somewhere or…"

"I ended it." Ed cut it sharply but quietly.

Roy's head shot up. "What?"

Ed sighed. "I'm stuck, Mustang." He smiled sadly. "I keep wanting to move forward. I keep wanting to move on… and I can't. My new house, my new fiancé, and… all I can think about it you." He ran his flesh hand through his dusty bangs. "I just… need to know if you and I can work."

"You think I can fix myself?"

"I don't know." Ed answered honestly.

"I'm the most screwed up person in the world."

"I know." Ed answered in a lie. They locked eyes. "I love you." Ed closed his eyes and let his head rest against the door. "I wish I didn't. But I can't help it."

Roy stood and Ed let his head go back down, but still raised to see Roy. The man stepped towards Ed until they were nose to nose, or in this case, nose to neck. Edward closed his eyes and let himself be kissed.

It wasn't magic like when they first kissed. It was so much more than that. It was like a thousand fires burning in the pits of their stomachs. The ache of longing was finally gone and a new light feeling replaced it in that one kiss. Two kisses. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Roy pulled away, but his hands remained on either side of Ed.

"How do I know I'm not hallucinating?"

"Did you take the Vicodin?"

Roy looked down to his left hand and opened it, revealing two pills. "No."

Ed smiled. "Then I think we're okay."

Roy smiled back at the blonde. "Yeah." He let the pills roll out of his hand and onto the tile floor before kissing his love once more. Twice more. Three times…


End file.
